So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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