this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
