I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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