i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
