I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
