I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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