Too much gin, very little bucket
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
