Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize