I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
