I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
