I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
