Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
