Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
