I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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