Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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