she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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