having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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