Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
