jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
