need another drink. this is the easiest way
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
