when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
