I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
People in love make me want to vomit
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
