Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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