So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
