We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
