He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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