ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
