Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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