So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
