KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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