I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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