she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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