We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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