Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You were trust falling into bushes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
