i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
