I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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