Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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