I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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