idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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