I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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