you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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