brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
