I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You made out with two different species that night
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize