now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
