..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
