Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
