My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
