I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
