OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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