i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's never too late to be topless.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
