at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
