so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
