that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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