You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
