Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize