dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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