i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
