My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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