Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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