I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
