whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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