erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
