I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
