Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
