I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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