we have officially lost it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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