I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize