your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
