friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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