We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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