Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
