I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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