Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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