I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
